My sister and I were always allied against my brother.   My father never had enough affection to go around, and my sister became my competition.

 

She and I shared a bed long past my ability to tolerate it. I wanted to be close to my sister but not that close!

 

When I asked why my brothers had separate beds and we didn’t, I was told “because they’re boys.”

 

At 14, I violently kicked my sister out of the bed in the middle of the night and finally got my own bed.

 

After high school, my sister and I grew apart and never bridged the chasm. She could not accept my identity as a lesbian; I could not accept her non-acceptance. The chasm widened into indifference.

 

The sister I love now is the little blond girl who used to play dolls and share a bed with me.

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